Medical Miracle: Newly Re-Discovered Fresh Water Creature For Easy Ear Wax Removal

I've been told by those in the know that the eerie looking creature pictured above is almost an exact duplicate of an ancient underwater specimen that was used by the Cherokee Indians and the early settlers for stubborn ear wax removal sometime around the 1700's and on until the late 1890's. They all claimed that the beastly looking critter was very easy to use. Exactly how it was used is unclear but the word 'easy' is not the first word that would come to mind if that creature was roaming around my ears ready to remove the stubborn wax buildup that was prompting its services in the first place.

And to think that after all this time I had actually assumed that I had made him totally from my twisted imagination.

The disappointment is weighing heavy on my soul.